Andy Rooney

In honour of Andy Rooney

Love him or hate him almost everyone knew who he was and where to find him each Sunday evening.My household like many grew up listening and watching him each week.

Here are some weird thoughts for you to ponder

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Now while you are pondering those very interesting dilemmas and thoughts I will leave you with some famous Andy Rooney quotes I came across while surfing

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

If Andy Rooney is not your thing but you want to strength your knowledge then you will find a whole line on Non Fiction books right on ola.com


Non Fiction


Thank you and good night